Regret is a feeling of wishing you'd done or not done something, or done it differently.
It can range from something small like “I shouldn’t have said that” to something bigger like “I should’ve jumped on it" when I had the chance.
Regret is a core driver of us humans
Most people aren’t doing things because they want to, but so they DON'T feel the regret for not having done so.
The more a person feels the sting of regret, the more turmoil it creates.
They get caught in a battle of “should I do this” or “should I not,” never being able to make a decision or feeling confident in it.
Interestingly enough...
We often stay stuck for no other reason than to not feel the pain or sting of regret
Let me explain…
When we’ve been putting off task, activity, or goal, and then finally start, we often regret not starting sooner.
So, the brain will keep us from starting something, just to not feel bad for not having started sooner.
It sounds wild, but the brain will keep us from doing things ONLY to not feel the regret of not having done it sooner.
This becomes a feedback loops because the longer we wait, the more that regret builds, and the more resistance the brain creates to starting.
The thing about regret is...
That it will never go away
There is NO WAY to stop or escape regret.
No matter what you do or how you do it, the brain will always find something you could have done differently or better.
Always!
It’s an inherent feature of the brain.
That’s how the brain is built
Your brain is built to trigger feelings of regret so we make better decisions and choices in the future.
Unfortunately, too many people use regret to stay stuck in the past, always wondering and wishing for things to be different.
What’s interesting is...
Regret comes up more as we get older
As we get into our late 30’s and early 40’s, people start looking back at their life choices and reflect more on what they hadn’t done or the path they wish they had taken.
As I mentioned, regret doesn’t go away, so even if we chose a different path, we would regret not having chosen the first or something different still.
What’s more...
Most of your regrets aren’t actually for you to change or to fix
But for your children.
The reason regret comes up as we age is so we can teach and raise our children to make better choices.
They not only want to, but are BUILT to be taught from the experiences of adults and the mistakes and choices they’ve made or hadn’t made.
So, regret isn’t a bad thing to avoid ...
It’s how you use it
You can get stuck in regret or use it as a springboard to take action and create an even better life.
If you've been stuck in a cycle of regret, and want to fast track your way out:
It's time to finally live life without the weight of regret...
